This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
