i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will be naked everywhere
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
