Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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