It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
