i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
