nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
