No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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