see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
