what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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