there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
