Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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