how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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