I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
