Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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