Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
