if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
