Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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