ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
