I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
