i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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