I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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