what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
