His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
