im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
