Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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