in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize