2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
