well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
