the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
