oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize