Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
