is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
