did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
