New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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