wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
