OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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