It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
