I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
