Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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