i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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