I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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