That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
