Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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