am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
