is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
