this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
