Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
