okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
