so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
