oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
