P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize