It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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