i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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