it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
