I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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