I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
