i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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