We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
