Already got asked if we're dating
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
