im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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