yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
