Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
