dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have aggressive nipples.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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