I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
